"Yikes" update

I'm starting to think Scooter has an abscess. He's always scratching the scar tissue where his surgery was, and goodness knows that getting his claws trimmed has turned into a nightmare that would scare Freddy Krueger.

His appetite has been better today, and he's looking perkier. We'll remove his bandage later today and check out the lesion wound. At least an abscess can be treated, and except for the antibiotics, I've got everything here on hand to treat it.

Most definitely "Yikes"

For anyone looking for knitting or sewing content, there won't be any today.

Keith and I were able to get Scooter wrapped up in a towel last night like a kitty burrito. For such a frail looking cat, he turns into the Tazmanian Devil anytime we try to look at him or give him sub-q. Anyway, we waited until he was in deep sleep on the bed and got him.

His skin cancer is back, with a vengeance. It did take both of us to trim away the fur, clean it up with some betadine, add a liberal does of neosporin, then using a gauze bandage, part of a roll of gauze and some gauze tape to bandage him up. I won't lie. I did all the holding and kitty wrestling while Keith did all the other work.

The cancer just looks gross. I won't go into any details here. I'll call the vet tomorrow and see if there's anything else we need to do about it. He's much too old for another surgery. I know Dr. Hyatt got all he could when he did the surgery (was it only last year?). There were two big problems with doing surgery. One was the location of the cancer on his neck near big veins and arteries and his esophagus. The other is/was his age. They had to use as little anesthesia as possible on him in order not to kill him during surgery.

I don't regret the surgery. It made him much more comfortable for part of this past year. I love Scooter so much that if I thought it would be possible and do him any good, I'd do it again.

However, I don't think he'd survive another surgery, and I don't think at this point it would do him much, if any good.

Back to that whole desire/suffering thing of the Buddha. I'm suffering right now because I desire for Scooter to live as long as I do. I know this suffering is of my own making and my own choice, but I love that cat so much. He was my first kitten that I'd known since the night of his conception. I carried him around and took care of him whenever Pixel needed a break. He's spent years sleeping with me, burrowing under the top blanket only so he could stay warm and still breath.

I know he's not dead yet, but I grieve now since I know he hasn't much more time with us. And yes, I know pre-grieving doesn't do a damn thing besides make your sinuses swell and your eyes red, but I can't stop it. He's been my baby more than any of my other pets. Our bond has been closer since I think he's always thought of me as his human mom, the one who didn't hiss or bite when he wanted snuggling.

I'll dig through our pictures and put some up from when he was young. He has always been a very snuggly looking, handsome kitty.

"And how is he doing right now?" you ask. He's sleeping under a heat vent on one of his several cat beds after actually eating his moist food. I think he does feel better after the amateur doctoring since he's acting more normal.

Better, I think

Scooter's been looking around for food, specifically something that he has decided is good enough for him to eat. Apparently that's not their normal kibble. I think I'll cook up some more liver and see if he'll eat it this time.

He may just be in pain from the lesion on his neck and his arthritis. I'm hoping we can doctor him up well enough, but if not, it's back to the vet. If the skin cancer is back, there may be nothing we can do except try to keep him comfortable.

Kim, thanks for being in our comments, sending us luv.

Worry

I'm worried about Scooter. He seems a little more shaky today. He didn't want to eat his liver either, but he did eat some of Monster's food. I'm keeping an eye on him, but at his age, I can't help but worry. After all, he's 10 weeks away from his 19th birthday.

Fun with hubby

A few nights ago I watched part of The Story of India with Michael Wood on PBS. This particular episode was about religion in India with the emphasis on the Buddha.

What I found interesting is that over the years I've been heading in a Buddhist direction as some of the tenets make so much sense. To paraphrase, if living is suffering, and suffering is caused by desire, then don't desire things.

Yeah, way easier to say than to do.

However, there are things I don't desire, and not desiring those things helps me find satisfaction with my life as it is. I don't desire a big house (think of the maintenance and utility bills). I don't want a fancy car, although I wouldn't say no to a low mileage, year 1999 body style, extended cab Dodge Dakota. (I really loved my truck.)

So I was talking to Keith about this some as we were running errands, and I confessed that I've not been able to rid myself of all desire, and one thing I wanted right now was a couple of yards of brown fabric with pink polka dots that I saw the other day. The wonderful hubby that he is drove me to two fabric stores to get my fabric, and a third to look for a matching zipper.

For me, it is the little things that make me happy. Keith in a good mood. Actually seeing an honest to goodness bluebird at our house. Making sure Scooter is just sleeping and not dead in his kitty bed.

And if I ever do conquer all my desires, you will find me wandering about India like the holy men do, even though I don't think I've ever seen a holy woman there.

Not so fun

I think Scooter's skin cancer has come back. He has a skin lesion near where it had been before surgery.

He seems so fragile I hate to manhandle him to look at him. He's gotten very grumpy about being handled, although he is more than happy to nap in my lap.

Today we'll treat the spot with some Betadine and Neosporin, then cover it up with a gauze bandage so he can't scratch it with his horrible claws. (His claws are thick and long. All hell breaks loose when I trim them. He's even bitten me recently when I was making the attempt to groom him.)

I hate seeing him get so old and frail. He was such a wild and vibrant cat. Now he's a grumpy old man. He'll be 19 years old on June 21. I do hope he makes it. Keith, in his usual straightforward way, said we both know he hasn't got much longer. I know it, but I don't always want to hear it.

However, as long as he seems to have a good quality of life, I'll put up with his grumpiness. Yesterday was liver day, so I know he still has some enjoyment in life.

As an aside, I did finish my skirt, and I'll get Keith to take a picture of it today to post later.

Sometimes it pays to keep stuff.

I am making the Barcelona Skirt by Amy Butler, and I'd been stopped in my tracks by having to install an invisible zipper.

Yeah, yeah, I've already heard the obvious joke.

Anyway, I've been sewing on an older model Bernina that I totally love. It's the coolest, most wonderful sewing machine I've ever owned. However, I didn't have the correct foot to install an invisible zipper, and I know Bernina feet are outrageously expensive. I had gone to Hancock Fabrics yesterday and spent the $3.00+ for the invisible zipper foot, but it didn't work on the Bernina. What to do?

At some point last night the answer presented itself. Go get the old Kenmore out of storage and see if it will work. So that's what I did this morning. My Kenmore actually needs to be serviced since something is not quite right with the tensioner, but it worked well enough to install the zipper. I'm happy, and now I can proceed with the skirt.

Also, I've been without Internet service all day. I finally called AT&T to see what was up, and apparently all I had to do was log in to my Bellsouth account to get it working again. I'll know for next time since ultimately that's what I had to do last time. And yes, I did write down what I needed to do.

Now I'm off to sew up the skirt lining and see if I can get it finished tonight.