Most definitely "Yikes"

For anyone looking for knitting or sewing content, there won't be any today.

Keith and I were able to get Scooter wrapped up in a towel last night like a kitty burrito. For such a frail looking cat, he turns into the Tazmanian Devil anytime we try to look at him or give him sub-q. Anyway, we waited until he was in deep sleep on the bed and got him.

His skin cancer is back, with a vengeance. It did take both of us to trim away the fur, clean it up with some betadine, add a liberal does of neosporin, then using a gauze bandage, part of a roll of gauze and some gauze tape to bandage him up. I won't lie. I did all the holding and kitty wrestling while Keith did all the other work.

The cancer just looks gross. I won't go into any details here. I'll call the vet tomorrow and see if there's anything else we need to do about it. He's much too old for another surgery. I know Dr. Hyatt got all he could when he did the surgery (was it only last year?). There were two big problems with doing surgery. One was the location of the cancer on his neck near big veins and arteries and his esophagus. The other is/was his age. They had to use as little anesthesia as possible on him in order not to kill him during surgery.

I don't regret the surgery. It made him much more comfortable for part of this past year. I love Scooter so much that if I thought it would be possible and do him any good, I'd do it again.

However, I don't think he'd survive another surgery, and I don't think at this point it would do him much, if any good.

Back to that whole desire/suffering thing of the Buddha. I'm suffering right now because I desire for Scooter to live as long as I do. I know this suffering is of my own making and my own choice, but I love that cat so much. He was my first kitten that I'd known since the night of his conception. I carried him around and took care of him whenever Pixel needed a break. He's spent years sleeping with me, burrowing under the top blanket only so he could stay warm and still breath.

I know he's not dead yet, but I grieve now since I know he hasn't much more time with us. And yes, I know pre-grieving doesn't do a damn thing besides make your sinuses swell and your eyes red, but I can't stop it. He's been my baby more than any of my other pets. Our bond has been closer since I think he's always thought of me as his human mom, the one who didn't hiss or bite when he wanted snuggling.

I'll dig through our pictures and put some up from when he was young. He has always been a very snuggly looking, handsome kitty.

"And how is he doing right now?" you ask. He's sleeping under a heat vent on one of his several cat beds after actually eating his moist food. I think he does feel better after the amateur doctoring since he's acting more normal.