I thought I'd feel really sad today, but I feel empty, wrung out and numb. I guess I got all the sobbing out of my system yesterday at the Dekalb Gwinnett Animal Emergency Clinic. Yeah, numb is how I feel.
Even though Brownie rarely left the kitchen, she occupied a very large part of my consciousness these past few months. If you look through the blog, I've been blogging about her illness and mortality a lot. To have someone you've been so focused on for so long suddenly gone does leave you feeling empty. She and Pixel are my first cats. I came from a relatively pet-free childhood due to the various allergic people in my family. I received Brownie and Pixel from a co-worker who had rescued a pregnant stray. They've been with me since they were pretty tiny, maybe 6-8 weeks old. Since 1989.
At least I'm off work today, so I have time to grieve without having to put on a cheerful face while greeting customers. I can be a hermit and spend all day watching Futurama if I want to while cuddling one of the healthy varmints. (And yes, I will tackle my laundry too.) That's all for now.
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2 comments:
What can one say here.. but that I am so sorry for your loss.. I don't know about you.. but I believe that when we lose our 4 leggers... while we mourn their passing.. and might keep their space in our homes and heart opened for a while.. I think the greatest way to honour them is by adopting a new furry friend.. someone that might need a home.. someone that needs love.. I think its very healing when the time is right... I think you have to try and take comfort in that you provided Brownie with a wonderful home.. a yard for adventures.. and haven of warmth... Its okay to be sad for however long it takes.. and I am glad you snuggling with your other babies.. its hard to lose them.. but the other comfort factor is .. that they no longer hurt.. and as empty as those words may sound.. they are not empty... think of Brownie with a smile.. and be proud of yourself that you are such an amazing person who gives these creatures... a happy home..filled with love and compassion and the understanding that sometimes.. you simply have to say goodbye...
I'm so sorry, honey. RIP, Brownie.
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